{"id":287,"date":"2010-03-15T10:08:03","date_gmt":"2010-03-15T00:08:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/?p=287"},"modified":"2010-03-15T10:08:03","modified_gmt":"2010-03-15T00:08:03","slug":"how-do-i-deal-with-my-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/?p=287","title":{"rendered":"How do I deal with my parents ?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>An unknown caller said&#8230;.<br \/>\n<object classid=\"clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000\" width=\"100%\" height=\"64\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0\"><param name=\"data\" value=\"https:\/\/clients4.google.com\/voice\/embed\/embedPlayer\" \/><param name=\"wmode\" value=\"transparent\" \/><param name=\"FlashVars\" value=\"u=11059774818913292430&amp;k=AHwOX_DjC8h37mWsq4K33UYqzpMy1aZB4axOK-OJ1A3GzLpL6dk2PtXjmuRGwtOKwMx136lcoXZCOpiw66RBRx9G9uUfdL-vo5-L-eURDccoihNXdi5O3LVP1oEDsQBlHfWyPKDQi0_xZYh1dyBKDkIeSLAc1XHfZJ4luGXrR2FzK_gnnLECDLo&amp;baseurl=https:\/\/clients4.google.com\/voice&amp;autoPlay=false&amp;cap=What%20to%20do%20about%20parents%20%3F\" \/><param name=\"src\" value=\"https:\/\/clients4.google.com\/voice\/embed\/embedPlayer\" \/><\/object><\/p>\n<p><strong>Question:<\/strong> <em>( sent via Google Voice. Transcribed by GV and corrected by Jake )<\/em><br \/>\nHi, At the age of I&#8217;d say about 12. I realized that they were a few things I didn&#8217;t quite understand about Christianity. Besides the fact that every single one of them claim the correct one and they were simply if you had facts that could be explained by psychology and sociology, that would explain the phenomenon mind set. Thats held by not only Christians, but every religious believer that I&#8217;ve met ( mostly ). I began to question the validity of questions of religion in total instead of you know just Christianity the issue being, however, that I have been going to a Christian school raised by Christian parents, who had sent me there for all of 10 years. All though I had finally convinced them to let me out of the private school and into a public school nearby which was much more convenient on us both time wise and financially, my parents been very reluctant to let me out of Christian fear or so to speak. They insist, apparently that I keep on going to church. I have explained my position to them. And no matter what the questions I say, no matter what I asked them of their motives, I tend to get nothing but their assertion &#8221; because we say so &#8221; and they have very little reason, even when I do go to church and I requests to bring a book that I can quietly read or say in the back and join them after its over and get back in the car. They refused saying that I need to sit next to them paying attention to the sermon, as if I have were also an interested Christian like everyone else in the room. This is very frustrating to be going for several years and I&#8217;m not exactly sure what to do about it ?  It&#8217;s very grating on the nerves and I find it most irritating because they keep on speaking to me as if I were a believer in something in which I&#8217;m not. It&#8217;s very frustrating to be misunderstood by myself and seemingly also about my parents. They seem to be wanting to save face, but better than seems so much the personality of some of my mom. Maybe my dad. However, I don&#8217;t know if you have any suggestions. please host it. I am up a creek. I&#8217;m getting very frustrated and I&#8217;m not sure what to do ? I very much love, my parents, but we&#8217;re getting point where there&#8217;s an impass that neither will give ground on and you know it&#8217;s frustrating. Thank you.<br \/>\n<\/br><br \/>\n<strong>Answer :<\/strong><br \/>\nI&#8217;ve been asked this question a lot over the last 10 years. So before I hit your head with some wisdom, understand that you are not alone. Others have and are going through what you are right now. They made it through, and so will you. However, with that said&#8230;<br \/>\nSince you didn&#8217;t mention how old you were I&#8217;m going to assume that you are somewhere in your late teens. The sad fact is that they are right. You are living under their house, and under their rules. It might not be fair, but until you can get out on your own, you&#8217;re stuck in their clutches. Think of it like paying rent but instead of money, you&#8217;re giving them church attendance. Yes, I know this sucks, and it&#8217;s unfair, but you have to look at it from their perspective. A parents job is to create an adult. Someone who is ready to take on the world. This means they try to instill within you what they believe to be right and wrong. To do otherwise, would be to give up on you. If your parents love you, they aren&#8217;t willing to do that. So, they do what they know how to do, and to them, church is an important part. So they force you to go. It sucks, but it&#8217;s understandable.<br \/>\nUntil your independence day, do something constructive with your forced time there. Listen to the sermon and jot down some notes. See if you can&#8217;t find scriptural contradictions in the sermon and ask about them ? Use the time to educate yourself about the one thing you&#8217;re sure you don&#8217;t believe in, Xianity.<br \/>\nRemember, to them, if you don&#8217;t conform to their understanding, then they&#8217;ve done something wrong. To counter  this, simply be better then they are. Do some community service in your area. Volunteer as a tutor. Mow someones lawn for free. Show them that just because you don&#8217;t hold the same beliefs as they do, that you are still a good person and that over all, they did a good job. That&#8217;s all they probably really want anyway.<br \/>\n<\/br><br \/>\nAnd again, remember you&#8217;re not alone. There are plenty of people out there who have gone through it. You&#8217;ll survive just like they did. You&#8217;ve made it this far already haven&#8217;t you ? Hope that helps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An unknown caller said&#8230;. Question: ( sent via Google Voice. Transcribed by GV and corrected by Jake ) Hi, At the age of I&#8217;d say about 12. I realized that they were a few things I didn&#8217;t quite understand about Christianity. Besides the fact that every single one of them claim the correct one and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/?p=287\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How do I deal with my parents ?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pB6tr-4D","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":293,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions\/293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asktheatheist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}